Rain’s blog

Today I was happy.

Even though truthfully much of what I did was just stand around shilin’s table and watch people come and buy her stuff, still felt rather happy about finding a spot where I can stay. I tried to stand inside the booth and help her get stuff, but everytime I think the staff isn’t going to check, I get kicked out for not having a badge. I’m just so very good at jinxing myself xD I wandered around by myself for a bit in the artist alley and the dealer’s room and found my favourite voodoo dolls. Too bad they cost so much I didn’t want to buy them :( I really want one for my cellphone though. I also saw tsubasa mangas for 11 dollars each, but I think I’m just going to get the complete set in china or something. I saw Kaze-hime and poli-chan from DA… very different from how I imagined them. Holly was too busy glomping shilin to notice me xD but that’s okee. Someone realized who I am and asked me for an autograph, I was flattered hehe. Probably just riding off shilin’s popularity though lol.

The the guy sharing a table with Shilin didn’t sell much stuff. This makes me rethink about sharing a table with her next year. Maybe I will feel very defeated if I constantly compare myself with her and I know I won’t sell as much. Need to learn to be easily satisfied. :)

I cosplayed as my original character, except nobody knows about her so nobody knew who I dressed up as. Two people that I lined up with spent an hour trying to guess who i was but was too embarrassed to ask. Some random guy told me I looked like his original character so I was like o.o I’m dressing up as my own chara? But he ended up giving me a free print for dressing up so I was like yay xD I also raided shilin’s prints, thiefing a copy each hahaha. I saw a lot of really nice costumes, making me want to make my own next year so it actually fits me x) I like Lolita dress and/or flowing dresses. Gotta learn how to sew. :( If Shilin dresses up as RO then I might do Sohee. I ♥ Sohee *o*

Maybe I will upload some photos later.

Anthro and quantum’s marks are back. o.o I like how whether or not I studied made no difference in the final grade that I got. Currently I /just/ failed quantum before belling, but since prof emailed us going “you can view the current histogram, but it will get adjusted in arriving at the final grade.” I’m guessing it will be belled enough that I will pass. Okees. =/ The class average for the final was 45%. lawlz;;

I guess I’m not going to medical school after all lol. My mum’s friend was all like you shouldn’t give up blah blah! Always look forward! But you know, that is provided there is something to look at in front of you. Right now there is none. I will just be wasting time staring into nothingness if I look blindly ahead. I think it’s much easier to switch to something more achievable than dying to reach for the something that’s clearly not going to happen.

Feeling like walking in a valley surrounded by to piercing cliffs, looking up at the thin strip of sky appearing out of reach. Once upon a time I was up at the mountain top bathing in sunlight, but somehow I must’ve mis-stepped and fell through the thin crack between the cliffs down into the abyss. Maybe I wasn’t destined to fly. Maybe I was supposed to live with the crocodiles, trying my best not to get devoured in this creek of desperate competition. Survival of the fittest, eh?

.. At least I have a job now. For a little while.

Where is the glowing light within my heart?